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I'm a Pro-fessional, Hyuk

Hey kids, I've got photos from Haiti, Palestine and Seattle up for sale at Something Old, Something New. (200 3rd ave S.) It's a thrift store run by an emergency shelter. A REAL thrift store, none of that overpriced vintage shit. See ya when I get back from Ohio!

Be Warned My Dear

I've been getting waaay more email spam since I went to Haiti and put my email on the lists when we registered Mutual Aid Disaster Relief as an NGO with the UN. This is the best so far.

I recommend not clicking on any linksCollapse )


Exhibtionism, Again

This LJ thing and Dreamwidth thing isn't working out the way I intended. Writing in this format is fun, it's personal, it's familiar and I've been doing it for a while. It's been a very functional way for me to do what I do and learn how to write and be an exhibitionist. And I like you people who read this thing and give me advice and support and stuff. I've even gotten an amazing partner in crime and lover from LJ. The thing is I'm outgrowing this style of blogging. Also, people don't take this format seriously. Or maybe they do? I'm unsure if it's just me that automatically thinks of overemotional oversharing and teenage angst when Livejournal-type things are mentioned.

No, I'm pretty sure it's not just me.

But either way, I think I need to graduate. I'm still gonna post here, because shit of course I need a place to be able to post OMG GUYZ I'M SOOOOO WASTED AND KNOW WHUT? I HAAAAAATE MY EX/THIS ONE DUDE/YR FACE. And I'll need a place to get feedback from y'all and post personal shit that's all locked and stuff.

But I think I'm moving over to my almost secret blog about sexwork and shit. It's not just about sexwork, but that was what I was most into writing about when I started it, so there's a bunch of that up there. Some of it is exceptionally incriminating, some of it rather embarrassing, but since I'm losing my job at the Lusty and my other workplace has ceased to exist I figure I'm pretty okay. Especially considering I'm intending to take time away from the industry once we're done at the Lusty Lady.

I was considering taking down that blog (and re-creating it somewhere else) because I have an ex-client (who recently became an ex-client for certain) who reads it, but then thought better. I mean, who cares? He is generally very respectful and knows enough about my life to know we live in completely different worlds. If he starts being a problem because I'm rambling about blackmetal or my identity or something, well, that's his problem, not mine. Also, I'm tired of always compartmentalizing. Of carefully keeping separate the people and experiences that don't seem to fit together. In many situations, doing this is necessary and healthy. In the sex industry especially. But I'm not going to be a part of the industry soon, and whether or not it's a good idea I'm taking the opportunity to break down walls and be more honest and bring together parts of myself and my community that I have kept separate. I might be expecting too much, but I think my community is strong enough and caring enough to accept my wingnut ass.

And, lo, in one fell swoop I have fixed most of my problem with not having enough places to be an exhibitionist on the internet. Now all I have to do is fix that problem in real life.

Post edited to be public, because fuck it, why not?


Hey, anybody else trying to keep up on the anti-government riots in Thailand?

Not to mention the ones in Greece?


New Game

I have a new game at work. It's called "pretend I'm in NYC circa 1980something". See, pretending I'm in New York during it's dark days of drugs, crime, and disrepair makes me think of myself and my co-workers as trashy queens of the sex industry, working a peepshow in spite of it being the lowest rung of the sex industry ladder and owning it. Loving the weirdness and the strange and wonderful and disgusting customers. And since it's the 80's I can fantasize that when I walk outside the streets will be dirty and the skyscrapers will be almost derelict, there will be empty shop windows and I'll be able to walk down the street feeling the freedom of knowing I have no farther to fall in life, and go home to a bunch of crazy freaks in some echoing building somewhere, a warehouse or an office building or a dilapidated house and because it is the time and place I am imagining it to be nobody cares how psychotic we are and we can build strange public art pieces and frolic and experiment and be terribly, horribly depressed and inspired in our poverty and brilliance. Or maybe just our 1980's drug habits. Whatever. It's a fun game.

Except when I actually leave and Seattle is shiny and clean and gentrified as all fuck and I do have those friends I was imagining, but we have no great echoing spaces and not much freedom to make huge incomprehensible art and be ignored by the world to gestate new demons and beautiful things.

We live in small houses smooshed together, escaping to the forests or neighboring cities when we are fed up of trying to make enough money to pay rent, our projects and ideas hemmed in by numerous jobs and lack of physical space in which to grow.

I am not really this bitter.

I like my life, it is busy and it is made of change and discoveries and learning.

For the first time ever I will be able to file for unemployment. For being a stripper. And I can get money to go to school from the government. So I will. This fall I should be going to school. Out of character, I know. But it's free. And free is always good, right? And if I freak out I can always take a break. These are the things I tell myself.

May. 10th, 2010

Oh, BTW, the Seattle medics have a thingy: http://seattlemedics.wordpress.com/

It's pretty cool, eh? All these shiny new kids with energy and not much PTSD are breathing new life into shit.

Work It

I feel like I'm waiting for a family member to die. Every time I go to work I have to perform the same way I would any other day, work it just the same but I know it's over. We're all just waiting. In two months the only place in Seattle that felt like home will disappear forever.

Whenever I left town, the first place I wanted to be when I got back was on stage dancing. I don't know how I'm going to deal without being able to perform regularly. Sure, our stage is small and frustrating to work with, sure the customers would occasionally verbally abuse us for fun, sure we weren't paid enough. Sure there were hard days when I wondered if I was going to be stuck in the box of the peepshow stage forever, that I'd never have a chance to perform outside of it. But fuck that. The support and fun and camaraderie of working there was worth it, indeed, is downright fucking irreplaceable.

I guess I'll just have to make the most of the next two months.

Lusty Lady Closes

I try to be slightly discreet about the location of my job because of the nature of my work. I am a stripper, and sometimes that comes with an extra dose of security culture. But the vague anonymity of the internet is useless if you live in Seattle, there's only one peepshow worth going to.

The Lusty Lady is closing forever at the end of June. We are having a 48 hour Playday starting Friday, June 11th going until Sunday morning. All night, all day. Our last hurrah.

Please come and support us in any way you feel is appropriate in the next two months.


At the expense of being very obscure, I have seen so many expressions of extreme bravery and will the last days and I would like to publicly thank the people in my universe who are doing new things and rocking them, not compromising themselves in the face of oppression and ignorance or making the best of fucked up situations and winning.

Y'all are a huge inspiration.